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Ali G Storms Out of Charity Chess Match

Written by: Sean the Irish Bastard Published on: 21 Mar 2000

Yesterday TV presenter Ali G walked out of a charity event being held at the Hannover Grand, London. Channel 4’s top interviewer Ali, of Staines, Middlesex last night told DFTFC that he had been forced to withdraw from the event due to “racial discrimination”.

Mr G had been lined up to play a game of chess with Beverly Hills 90125 actor Jason Priestley, with a cheque for 5000 going to a charity supported by the winner. Mr Priestley claimed afterwards that the whole thinghad been an “unfortunate misunderstanding”.

Mr. Priestley, 44 declined to speak with us in any detail, but passed us a copy of a videotape of the incident filmed by his friend Simon. Actually the first tape we received was of something else, but Mr Priestley offered us a significant sum of money not to talk about it. We were then passed the correct tape, and the following is a transcript of what was said between the two:

MC ALAN HARGREAVES: Ladies and Gentlemen, Jason Priestley and Ali G!

(Applause. They enter and sit down at the board)

JASON PRIESTLEY: Good afternoon everybody.

ALI G: Booyaka-sha! Good luck man, though me hope ya lose, ‘cos there’s poor kids in the ghetto.

JP: Yeah, good luck to you too, man. Shall we start?

ALI G: Wickid! For real! Now, me start with a prawn…

(He moves to pick up his King’s Pawn)

JP: Hang on man, I’m sorry but it’s my go first.

ALI G: Is it ‘cos I’s black?

(Jason looks down at the chess board. Sure enough, Ali is playing with the black pieces)

JP: Yeah that’s right. I’m supposed to start.

ALI G: Wot, because you is white, man?

JP: Yep. Whoever is White gets to go first, and then…

ALI G: Ain’t that a bit racialist?

JP: No, not at all. White always goes first. It’s in the rules.

ALI G: That sucks! This whole game is racist, man!

JP: It’s OK dude.. Let’s see, you can be white, then you can go first…

ALI G: No way! Me ain’t gonna betray me brothers in the West End Massive! Res-pect to the homeboys! Bo!

(Ali gets up and strides out of the auditorium)

We spoke with Ali G on the matter, but all he would add was that “It’s a real shame that organised racism is still going on in these days when man can clone pigs and walk on Mars. Me is saddest of all for those kids in the ghettos of Staines, Egham and Windlesham. They is the ones who has lost out. Me heard that Chess comes from China. Me just wanna say people in stone houses shouldn’t throw glass. Respect!” With that, Ali thanked us and went off to ‘hang with his bitches’.

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