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Grainy US Alien Autopsy Film Scandal

Written by: ChilliBear Published on: 17 Feb 2000

Earlier this week in a small town in the American outback (where else!) the normal tranquil life was shattered by the US army as they began to rope off vast quantities of the American outback, because of a potentially fatal escaped Cow from a nearby ranch. Dr Bob Alean, an army coroner reviled exclusively to DFTFC (based on our reputation for honest no nonsense respectable reporting) the true story of what really happened that day.

At 0600hrs on the 14th February an unidentified flying object crashed into the desert outside the town of Majersbridge AZ. The army arrived within an hour and began the covert cleanup operation, in total four bodies were recovered from the crashed saucer (shown below).

The army complying with standard procedure make a grainy autopsy film, Dr Alean was one of those who performed the autopsy, the still shown below and taken from the film clearly shows the alien and its weird “alien” features spooky.

When the autopsy had been completed the high quality video footage is run through a procedure called “graining” this adds those characteristic smudges and scratches to the film, it also strips all colour from the film. Apparently this is all done to ensure the video meets ISO 1001 standards for UFO findings.

Dr Alean was asked why he decided to come out with his story, now when he has so many financial worries to concern himself with.

“well I felt that the public just had to know about this, if the US government keep covering up this sort of thing, its really naughty. We all need to know the truth.”

We thanked Dr Alean for his time and paid him his fee. It took us a few hours while we were putting together a high quality article to notice a few oddities in the evidence given by Dr Alean. Then we realised that perhaps Dr Alean has faked the entire episode to make money! Just look at these facts…

  • Note on the picture of the saucer there is a label which says that it was taken in 1964, and in an entirely different part of small town America. Ha! its a different UFO crash, because Dr Alean’s happened on the 14th Feb. 2000 outside the town of Majersbridge AZ.

  • Second in one of the clearer autopsy stills there is a strange object on the side of the body (circled in red), after zooming in is MS Paint, we identified some writing on this object “Made in Taiwan”, so our alien wasn’t from outer space after all.

  • And the final killer, Dr Alean left his wallet at the office, and while ..err.. checking it for loose change, we found this photograph - which clearly shows the alien being built.

We feel the truth has to be known. This UFO incident and the resulting footage was faked I know its hard to believe something a believable as this could all be lies, we are still reeling from the shock, but who can disagree with the evidence we found. DFTFC cup would like to mention that once again all our stories are thoroughly researched and triple checked to make sure that we only bring you the truth, this is a perfect example where our dedication to the real news has paid off and we weren’t duped or taken in by a con-man. In fact we would like to say…

Dr Alean - we still have your wallet, but can you increase the credit limit on your Gold card by $2000 dollars, since ran out of credit to buy our new home entertainment system.

Yeah you guessed it the majority of this site is copyrighted to us, © 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003 all the way up to 2014 so please don't pinch it. Obviously this is all in good humour if you don't think so then you don't have "good humour". This is of course only a sarcastic sceptical FICTITIOUS (yes thats right it's not real! - It's actually made up! - Welcome to the world of satire), view on life the universe and everyone in the public light... hey it's all supposed to be good fun... honest :)