A mad old satirical news site from the dawn of the Internet archived for posterity

Drink from the
furry cup

All the news without the kumquats


  • ChilliBear
  • Hungry Caterpillar
  • Sean the Irish Bastard
  • Spunk-Monkey
  • Winnie the Poo
  • Hoffin' Bigman
  • Helter-Skelter
  • Niloc
  • Saunders
  • Dai Laffin
  • Digger

Quintessential Quote

Why are our days numbered and not, say lettered?

Pick of the Best

Past Poll

Are you ignorant or apathetic?

  • I don't know
  • I don't care


Written by: Sean the Irish Bastard Published on: 14 Jan 2003

DFTFC is proud to announce the arrival of Sean the Irish Bastard’s baby daughter. Contrary to rumour around the labour ward, she does not (yet) exhibit horns and a tail.

The name has been chosen to be Zoe, partly because it is greek for ‘She who will inherit all the burning carcasses of the dead wilderbeest’, and partly because it scans well with ‘Irish Bastard’.

However, check out the new poll for where you can help shape her identity in some small way…

Suffer ye piteous fools! er, I mean… Cheers…

Yeah you guessed it the majority of this site is copyrighted to us, © 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003 all the way up to 2014 so please don't pinch it. Obviously this is all in good humour if you don't think so then you don't have "good humour". This is of course only a sarcastic sceptical FICTITIOUS (yes thats right it's not real! - It's actually made up! - Welcome to the world of satire), view on life the universe and everyone in the public light... hey it's all supposed to be good fun... honest :)